[nika]
She set her paws down heavily and somehow her body seemed to follow their movement, shifting forward, then falling back, shifting forward, then falling back. Her pelt felt thick against her muscles, and they in turn ground against her bones, making Nika feel much older than she was. A mother of triplets, her pelt was still confined to her bod, a sleek and curvy vessel that slid with ease, if a bit languidly, towards where she had heard the cry of her boy. Her boy, Rohan. She had done many things to him, but shattering him (to hear the rents in his tone from the knife of her choices) drowned her with a peculiar and passionate guilt. She would not kid herself; he would never know what love is. A sigh reverberated in her chest and she had to sit, forced to the ground by an age-old weariness that ground against her bones.
A day ago Nika had been radiant with happiness; her dull cinnamon coat had been unkempt in her excitement, her thoughts waltzing, as happy thoughts often do, to a murmured tune slipping from the lips of Kalgalath. She knew it was only a memory but she indulged in it, and spoke through the haze of this resurrected love to her children, Rohan and Adara. But how she had been so stupid, as to think that they too would rejoice in the news of their father and brother, when even as she said it she felt the witch who had made of her two children outcasts from the rest of their family. It broke her heart to see Rohan run away from her, his long legs eating up ground. He was so strong-willed, and had inherited only the worst traits from her. My son, we cannot always be running.
Adara was her little minx, and her loyalty kept the family unit, small though it may be, strong. But it hurt, to look at her and her brother, neither with her coloring, and now that Kal’s blood ran through their veins. When little Addy batted her startlingly blue eyes she may think they were inherited from her mother, for Nika too had a pair of brilliant icy blue stones set evenly on her wide, balanced skull. She would not think for a second of her father’s eyes, because she had never seen them. Pain lanced through Nika’s gut once more, but she inhaled sharply to suppress it. Though her children may not remember his blue eyes, she certainly did. Thinking of facing them again had her shaking, but she pulled herself to her paws. Did her son have their eyes? Those were some that she did not dare to face. There were no words to express that, while Aindreas had never been unloved, she had abandoned him. It hunched her back, and kept her thoughts troubled and thunderous to think of possible encounters she’d have with him. The only chinks of sunlight came with reminiscing about her former lover.
By the time she stumbled closer to the sound of her son’s desperate call she was mumbling semi-coherently, at once wary and kept at constant alert by her troubles. Unbeknownst to him, when Rohan muttered to his sister “Oh, Adara, I’m so sorry...” she too professed this sentiment. But hers ran in a string, a prayer if you would, though she knew no higher power than love, and so her muttered apologies were aimed, self consciously, at Kal. “Oh Adara, I’m so sorry...Rohan, I’m so sorry, Kale, forgive me, Aindreas...Andy, please.” The compulsion to do so was not at first apparent, but her nervousness and confusion were. She had left Kal for good reason, or “good” reason, during her pregnancy. She had grown up spoiled and over-loved, and she couldn’t stand the lovestruck expressions on his maw, his excitement over the pups, all bringing back a childhood that Nika had buried. Yes, she had been selfish by taking the pups away from their father. She had also been young, but would Rohan understand? Should she expect him to?
The last throbbing dregs of his call had long since faded when Nika pulled herself closer to the border of Aurora Borealis. She did not need his echoes to know where he had gone. He’d done exactly what his mother would’ve done, her skunk-painted son; sprinted off to find his father. Her pace quickened, the adrenaline kick-starting her heart to double its tempo. A need to reach them before they found Kal extended her strides even further; she was afraid she had not explain it correctly to them. That they would come here raging and frothing, as she knew Rohan was capable off when he felt wronged or that the family had been threatened. Rising hastily behind them in the grass, the tempo of Nika’s heart tripled.
He was there. Kal. And her children, staring at their father for the first time. Adara must know. They were carbon copies of each other, done to their gorgeous , tempered steel coats, and depthless blue eyes.
She ducked her head and ran up to her children, catching the last of Rohan’s words. She buried her nose below his ear, face still turned away from the Alpha standing imposingly before them. Could he see the chills on her spine? “I am here, my son.” She breathed. “Forgive me.” Her head rose then, ears flattening slightly at the subordinate who paced up behind her love. She shot her a quick glance first, her burning icy blues hostile and mistrusting. After having lived with the guilt of her choice must prominently in the more recent months, anyone staring at her family, evaluating them, angered her pride. What right did this little black menace have to judge them? Then Nika flicked her gaze up to Kal’s.
The tempo quadrupled.
All the anger dissipated from her gaze, her heart leaping into her throat. He looked good, and had aged like a fine wine. Regality defined his every movement, and he bore his shimmering, mottled coat with grace and an aura of goodwill. Her dark crown rose towards him, and she stepped between her children to stand tall in front of him. Her tail wagged tentatively parallel to her spine, her voice infused with an unknown confidence as she lost herself to him, saying clearly, “Remember me, Kal?” She indicated Adara and Rohan beside her at the border and stared hard directly into his eyes. “Think hard. You may remember them too.”
Word Count: A lot.
|