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It's hard seeing him like this. The last time he was this heart broken, Jaidah had left him at my paws in Paracon, pleading that I look after him. I had thought it an odd request from her but since she had never done anything to threaten me or my pack, I told her that I would. I hope I can say that I did look after him to the best of my ability. Amir never could understand why Jaidah didn't want him with her. He couldn't understand at that age that she was being hunted and she feared for his life. When he finally did find her, I hear she had already gone insane. It was a long time coming. Jaidah never was quite all there. He grieved for her for a long time. She was the closest thing he had to a mother after losing his own. At least him and Voltaire finally reconciled their differences and became friends. I hear Amir is training him now. It's hard to think that not so long ago they wanted each other dead. I know that Amir cried over Jaidah but I don't deserve his tears. He's worked so hard to get to where he is now. I'm a failure to all who ever thought to idolize me. I know that Amir was one of them. He looks up at me and I can see that he's surprised and excited to see me. I wish I couldn't say I feel relief to know that he doesn't hate me like he should for what I did to his pack, to the ones he's sworn to protect. I can almost see the wheels turning in his head, the questions spinning around in his mind. His eyes are watery and it tugs at my heart strings. He stares at me for a long time before speaking. When he does, I scowl and flatten my ears, my tail giving one wag behind me before falling still again. Even in this time, I feel glad to see him. "I'm not worth it. I did this to myself. I attacked an innocent wolf, a child, no less. I deserve my fate. You should be mad at me. You should be here to tell me off, scold me for turning on my own blood. You shouldn't cry for me, Amir. You should want to tear me apart." |